You thought ghosting was bad? Meet avalanching, the newest dating disaster that’s sneakier, faster, and even more chaotic. Unlike ghosting, which ends abruptly, avalanching begins with an overwhelming burst of attention. Multiple matches. Constant texts. Too many dates. And then? Radio silence.
It’s not just rude. It’s exhausting. People pile on connections hoping to avoid being alone during romantic pressure points like Valentine’s Day. But in trying to avoid loneliness, they burn out and disappear.
If ghosting leaves you wondering what happened, avalanching makes you question if anything was ever real. Let’s unpack why it’s rising, and how to survive it with your sanity intact.
What Exactly Is Avalanching?
Avalanching is when someone rapidly ramps up their dating activity, matching, messaging, and planning multiple dates at once, often to avoid being single during a specific time. Think of it as emotional hoarding with a deadline.
It usually happens around holidays like Valentine’s Day, New Year’s, or even cuffing season. People panic about being alone, so they match with anyone and everyone. Standards go out the window. Suddenly, you’re one of six dinner dates they’ve lined up for next week.
The issue isn’t the volume alone. It’s that most of these connections are shallow, rushed, and destined to fizzle.
How It’s Different From Ghosting
Ghosting is the digital version of the Irish goodbye. One minute you’re chatting, the next they’ve vanished. It hurts, but at least you know where you stand. Avalanching is trickier. It starts hot, fast, and flattering, until it crashes.
It’s the whiplash that stings. You think someone’s really into you, only to realize they’ve sent the same good morning text to three other people. The connection feels intense but short-lived.
Where ghosting cuts things off, avalanching floods you with attention first, then vanishes. It’s ghosting, but with false intimacy added in.
Why It Peaks Around Valentine’s Day
If your matches suddenly spike in January, you’re not imagining it. Dating apps report huge activity boosts leading up to Valentine’s Day. Nobody wants to be the only one solo on February 14.
So what do people do? They panic. Standards get lowered. Swipes get faster. Conversations start to blend. Suddenly, people are juggling five “potential soulmates” and none of it feels real.
This mass dating sprint leads to emotional burnout. Most connections never leave the chat. Some barely last past dessert. And come February 15, many people go quiet or disappear completely.
Emotional Fallout for Both Sides
Avalanching doesn’t just hurt the people on the receiving end. The person doing the avalanching often feels worse. Keeping up with multiple conversations, dates, and emotional check-ins is draining.
They might not mean to flake, they just hit a wall. Emotionally, mentally, or logistically, it becomes too much. That crash leads to silence, confusion, and guilt. Meanwhile, you’re left wondering what you did wrong when the truth is, they were never fully present.
It’s a lose-lose situation. Shallow dating disguised as effort. Everyone walks away feeling weird.
The Role of Dating Apps
Dating platforms aren’t exactly helping. Many apps push the “more is better” approach; more matches, more messages, more options. But more doesn’t always mean better.
When you’re shown hundreds of faces daily, it’s easy to see dating like a game. Avalanching becomes almost inevitable. You swipe fast, match quickly, and jump into conversations you can’t keep up with.
Add in limited-time promos and Valentine’s Day campaigns, and suddenly you’re caught in a pressure cooker of performative dating. Apps want engagement. They don’t always prioritize connection.
Signs You’re Being Avalanched
You’re talking to someone new. They reply instantly, seem super into you, and already want to meet up, but things feel… off. You’re not imagining it.
If their energy feels excessive, generic, or weirdly rehearsed, they might be avalanching. Other red flags: vague plans, low attention to detail, mixing up facts about you, or disappearing mid-convo only to pop back up like nothing happened.
They’re not being malicious. They’re being sloppy. You’re not the only person in their queue, and once the pressure lifts, you may not be in it at all.
Why People Do It (Even If They Know Better)
Avalanching is driven by emotional fear of loneliness, rejection, or just being left out. Society puts a lot of weight on “not being single” during certain times. That pressure makes people overcompensate.
Even emotionally healthy people can fall into the trap. You start with good intentions, but suddenly you’re three dates deep with people you barely remember. And the guilt hits hard.
Experts say it’s not about being toxic. It’s about emotional overload. When dating becomes a sprint, people make bad connection choices in the name of feeling better, fast.
How to Avoid Being the Avalanche — or Its Victim
If you’re dating right now, be honest with yourself. Are you matching because you’re excited? Or because you’re lonely and hate the idea of being solo next week? Intentional dating starts with self-awareness.
Focus on one or two people at a time. Ask better questions. Slow down. On the flip side, if someone seems too eager too fast, don’t be afraid to set boundaries. It’s okay to ask what they’re really looking for.
If someone’s avalanching you, trust your gut and opt out before the snow buries you.
You Deserve Something Real
Avalanching is just another dating trend built on panic. It might feel flattering at first, but it rarely leads anywhere good. Whether you’re doing it or dealing with it, the outcome is the same: confusion, burnout, and disappointment.
Don’t settle for fast. Choose intentional. Focus on quality. Real connections take time to build, and they don’t arrive in a frenzy of half-baked texts.
Your love life isn’t a deadline. So ditch the avalanche energy and aim for something with actual depth. Because attention is easy. Effort is rare. And you deserve the rare.
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